Have you ever had someone describe something to you, whether you know it or not, and suddenly, no matter how you thought about it before, that becomes one of the ways in which you look at it? It makes sense, it's a new way to look at it, you take it into consideration. Now have you ever had that happen when you want to force yourself to not think of it in that way? Where you know that could change your perceptions of it so drastically, the experience itself will change? I suppose in many ways, that has been my struggle since I got here. I can't say I've gotten the most positive feedback about Korea, about teaching at an academy, about the food... the list goes on. It honestly scared me when I got here because for the first time, I was wondering if I was legitimately going to hate where I lived and what I did.
I remember when I was living in Japan, forcing myself into a mindset that I would strive to understand the differences and accept them, that I would taste anything I was offered and appreciate it... basically attempting to rid myself of my prejudices as much as possible. I can't exactly say I was completely successful, but over the months I was there, I realized how that mindset really impacted the way I interacted with things.
Sadly, I have not managed that in Korea. From the moment I got here, it seemed I was flooded with all the things I would hate, the negativity was crushing. All the worse things to expect, in work, in attitudes, in food even made me doubt my ability to appreciate it.
But as I look back on my first month here, I notice a few things. First, it went by so fast, and it was painless (ok, relatively painless). I've been here a month? Really? I still feel so incompetent, I feel after a month I should be much more able to navigate things, whether the school, the culture or the language. But in spite of all that, I've had fun, with the successes and the struggles both. Second, like anywhere, there are cultural differences but to me it's just learning to navigate a new job, no matter where it is. There's never been anything that I find in any way offensive or stupid, it's different, it works differently, it's effective in different ways and the fact of the matter is, I just have to get used to it. And that's fine. And the last thing is that even the most unnerving things - like it taking me over an hour, instead of the needed 5-10 minutes to find the Fulbright building because the directions on the website were completely insufficient - make for amusing stories and if you power through, you learn something, if only patience. Or where to find the post office in Mapo-gu along with the National Health Insurance Building, the Labor Union Office, the closest Starbucks to Gongdeok station and the Rotary Building. And in the end, I worried a lot less about the test, because I was too busy focusing on how to get to the testing center, which has merit.
I know it will still be something I struggle with. Are these next 11 months going to be so long and tedious, by the time they're over I feel like I just went through another four years of college? Am I going to step on the plane thinking "Good riddance, I never ever want to come back to this country"? And perhaps the worse thought, am I going to start hating my job so much that I stop caring to the point of not really doing it properly? I wonder what I'll think then. A year is both so long and so short...
For now, I'm just going to enjoy the rest of the week in Seoul with family and friends and look forward to presentation classes with brilliant 9 year olds who are each researching a country, and a conversation class where I get to take the kids to my apartment to cook and speak English. Not to mention a new month where I can actually do the curriculum properly rather than rush the last week to accomplish something I didn't know existed.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
English Oppression
The other day, I went to a coffee shop next to school for breakfast. I sadly still cannot communicate in Korean, and was thus relying on pointing and the little English the girls at the register knew. When they were trying to ask if I wanted the bagel toasted and didn't know the English words, they started apologizing profusely.
Why were they apologizing to me for not speaking my language when I am the one living in their country? It seems so backwards.
I most definitely see the value of a lingua-franca, or I would not be in Korea teaching English. Still, should people feel bad for not speaking it? Especially when they are in their home country and the majority of foreigners they get are living there, not passing through.
As a native English-speaker, it seems easy to take it for granted that you will be able to communicate somehow. I find it amazing how many people have been here for a year or more and can't even read the script. I know I simply dislike stupid things like not being able to read a menu far too much to never learn it (hopefully). But what a gift speaking English is becomes all the more striking when not speaking it becomes a reason to look down on yourself. After that day, it seems a responsibility to at least try.
They were apologizing to me, and I didn't even know how to apologize in Korean.
Why were they apologizing to me for not speaking my language when I am the one living in their country? It seems so backwards.
I most definitely see the value of a lingua-franca, or I would not be in Korea teaching English. Still, should people feel bad for not speaking it? Especially when they are in their home country and the majority of foreigners they get are living there, not passing through.
As a native English-speaker, it seems easy to take it for granted that you will be able to communicate somehow. I find it amazing how many people have been here for a year or more and can't even read the script. I know I simply dislike stupid things like not being able to read a menu far too much to never learn it (hopefully). But what a gift speaking English is becomes all the more striking when not speaking it becomes a reason to look down on yourself. After that day, it seems a responsibility to at least try.
They were apologizing to me, and I didn't even know how to apologize in Korean.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Rainy Expedition
Today I set got up driven to get to church. I'd found a church not too far away (by cab) online and figured I'd get to a landmark and walk the rest of the way. Even though it was pouring rain I figured it would, at the very least, be a fun adventure. So I dress for church (yea, dress and heals) and to the best of my ability, make a guess from the map as to which direction I'll have to walk in. Knowing the service started at 11, I gave myself plenty of time to make mistakes.
I grab a cab and successfully tell him my landmark of choice. When I get there I go with what I'd decided and start walking. It was strangely reminiscent of another expedition around a rainy city... though I was alone and it wasn't an all day scavenger hunt.
Before I left, I'd tried writing out the address but since it was all in hangul, which don't understand, it threw me off, I didn't like it, and I told myself I'd figure it out on my own. It wasn't like I could ask for directions anyway, I would probably not ask for directions even if I spoke the language! Of course I could have simply given the cab driver that address and saved myself a whole lot of walking, but I was fine with it.
So I walked, and walked and walked some more. When I got to a point (after maybe 20 minutes) on the main street where I knew I must have done something wrong, I move to the small streets, meandering through, not really expecting to find what I was looking for there, but at least take a different road. By the time I'd reached my landmark again, I was basically going to be late even if I did find it. Still, stubborn as I am, I picked another direction and started walking some more.
After about an hour and a half, when I started feeling the blisters forming and I'd been out too long for the umbrella to really be doing much good I decided that I should head back before I started getting frustrated.
Of course the cab driver didn't know the address I gave him and he was one of the few who didn't have a gps, but I actually (somehow) managed to give him directions and actually find the place!
I'm quite amazed at the fact that I didn't get frustrated. I think it's largely due to the fact that I headed out knowing that not finding it was a possibility. In retrospect, I should have drawn the map out (since I didn't have a printer I decided I'd just do without and I had the bright idea of simply discarding the notion of drawing it myself), since it would have been much easier to figure it out there. Even looking at it now, I know which direction (though not exactly which street) I should have walked in.
It wasn't really a productive trip since I didn't get where I wanted to be, but forcing myself to go out, in spite of the pouring rain, and in spite of the fact that I wasn't sure where I was going... that was productive.
Stubbornness may not always get you were you want to be, but at the very least you'll get a good workout (ok it might also leave a few marks, like blisters, but it's worth it).
~Elyssa~
I grab a cab and successfully tell him my landmark of choice. When I get there I go with what I'd decided and start walking. It was strangely reminiscent of another expedition around a rainy city... though I was alone and it wasn't an all day scavenger hunt.
Before I left, I'd tried writing out the address but since it was all in hangul, which don't understand, it threw me off, I didn't like it, and I told myself I'd figure it out on my own. It wasn't like I could ask for directions anyway, I would probably not ask for directions even if I spoke the language! Of course I could have simply given the cab driver that address and saved myself a whole lot of walking, but I was fine with it.
So I walked, and walked and walked some more. When I got to a point (after maybe 20 minutes) on the main street where I knew I must have done something wrong, I move to the small streets, meandering through, not really expecting to find what I was looking for there, but at least take a different road. By the time I'd reached my landmark again, I was basically going to be late even if I did find it. Still, stubborn as I am, I picked another direction and started walking some more.
After about an hour and a half, when I started feeling the blisters forming and I'd been out too long for the umbrella to really be doing much good I decided that I should head back before I started getting frustrated.
Of course the cab driver didn't know the address I gave him and he was one of the few who didn't have a gps, but I actually (somehow) managed to give him directions and actually find the place!
I'm quite amazed at the fact that I didn't get frustrated. I think it's largely due to the fact that I headed out knowing that not finding it was a possibility. In retrospect, I should have drawn the map out (since I didn't have a printer I decided I'd just do without and I had the bright idea of simply discarding the notion of drawing it myself), since it would have been much easier to figure it out there. Even looking at it now, I know which direction (though not exactly which street) I should have walked in.
It wasn't really a productive trip since I didn't get where I wanted to be, but forcing myself to go out, in spite of the pouring rain, and in spite of the fact that I wasn't sure where I was going... that was productive.
Stubbornness may not always get you were you want to be, but at the very least you'll get a good workout (ok it might also leave a few marks, like blisters, but it's worth it).
~Elyssa~
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Two Weeks In
“Everywhere is nowhere. When a person spends all his time in foreign travel, he ends by having many acquaintances, but no friends.” - Seneca
I have to admit, I've never been into blogging. I'm horrible at keeping journals! When it comes down to it, the difference this time is that I want to somehow find a way to bridge the distance and keep people involved and somehow closer. I can only hope that this will achieve its purpose.
Why Korea?
It’s been two months since graduation and now a new chapter begins in earnest. Since early May, I’ve often found myself wondering why I chose Korea over Japan. I’ve taken two years of Japanese and lived there for 6 months, achieving a certain level of fluency, whereas I do not speak a single of Korean. Though I love to learn about different cultures, Japan had always had a very special appeal to me, whereas I have never felt particularly drawn to Korean culture. Finally, the JET program came with certain prestige and name recognition that an after-school academy in Daejeon, ROK certainly does not have.
On the other hand, the decision was not random and there were important factors that led me here. First and foremost was the issue of North Korean defectors (though ironically over the past couple months, the pull to academia has only grown stronger and right now the history route seems much more likely route for the future). I wanted to get an idea of what Korean culture was like, what the shift from North to South Korea would look like.
The personal pull was, surprisingly and in many ways, even more important. I knew coming here that I had family close by, that I wasn’t shut off, separated by borders or oceans. After finally beginning to break out of a shell of seclusion, cutting myself off so completely seemed quite risky. Of course choosing instead a country where I don’t speak the language at all is a questionable alternative, but knowing there are people I am close to nearby was far more comforting. For so long I've been perfectly comfortable being secluded and far away, the fact that I wanted to be close to people so much made it a very appealing choice.
First Impressions
I got on the plane and knew I was leaving but it was only as I was walking through Incheon Airport, after a 13 hour flight, looking at the pictures of Korea all over the walls that I realized where I was. After getting in at 5 a.m, getting my bags, going through customs, I got to see T & C at the airport, for the first time in a year and a half or so. I will never forget sitting on my computer, in one of the rows of chairs outside the Coffee Bean, and them popping up behind me. It was such a pleasure, even if we were just sitting at a stupid airport.
After a couple hours, I had to get on the bus to Daejeon. Which I almost missed because it was just so... sudden. On the drive down, I couldn't help but notice how green it is here. Overcast and raining but bright and lively. It was Sunday morning, there was little traffic and it seemed that was all there was, the vibrant green flora covered in the gray mist.
When I got into Daejeon, my school director picked my up with his wife and walked me to the hotel I would be staying in before I could move into my apartment on Thursday. I have to say, not being able to understand a single word of what was being said was both fascinating and infuriating... though exhausting either way (the long trip probably didn't help). In the same vein, I am constantly amused by what people feel the need to explain, for example stopping at a gas station to get gas because the tank is almost empty. And then other times, 10 minutes of conversation that I would like to be aware of are left unexplained, like what is going on with my hotel room that I would like to get to so I can put my bags down and change. It makes me wonder how often I have done that to people with French and English and if you are someone who has suffered that, I am truly sorry.
Monday, my director picked me up at 11 to go to the school. I sat in on a few classes with other teachers while waiting for the classes I would be teaching and went to lunch (Shabu-Shabu, always wonderful) with two of the teachers. And then I got to meet my classes when they started at 3. Of course by 4-5, I was starting to fade and by the time my last classes came around I was struggling to stay awake. During that first week, I taught some of the classes and just watched others until Thursday when I the teacher I was replacing left.
In teaching, my greatest frustration has once again been the language barrier. When there is a problem, when it comes down to it, there is nothing that I can do and even if there is, someone who speaks the language will do it much better. This feeling of helplessness is quite nerve-racking and also applies when they speak to each other, I can't even understand what they're talking about, which is quite unsettling since they can say whatever they want... Of course the point is for them to just speak English but sometimes that is rather difficult to achieve.
I feel that, what bothers me more than difference between how the Koreans approach teaching and what I am accustomed to is the way the foreign teachers talk about the Korean approach. Granted, I haven't had much opportunity to witness stark differences between the two in two weeks and perhaps after several months, I will be doing the same thing. Still, I know that the approach is different, and I expect that at times I might even be shocked. I know that it is impossible for me not to prefer one way or the other but from there to calling their approach stupid or inefficient seems misplaced. It is not for me to say or judge when I am coming to their country to teach in their schools. As the outsider, it is first for me to accept and adapt, even if I disagree, what right do I have to tell them they're wrong?
It makes me wonder what I would do, if I thought of something that they could do more effectively. Would I just say, "it's not the way they do it" and so I should just adapt or is there a way to offer advice without being arrogant and degrading?
With these thoughts, I conclude my first post. Hopefully I will maintain some consistency and post often enough.
~ Elyssa ~
I have to admit, I've never been into blogging. I'm horrible at keeping journals! When it comes down to it, the difference this time is that I want to somehow find a way to bridge the distance and keep people involved and somehow closer. I can only hope that this will achieve its purpose.
Why Korea?
It’s been two months since graduation and now a new chapter begins in earnest. Since early May, I’ve often found myself wondering why I chose Korea over Japan. I’ve taken two years of Japanese and lived there for 6 months, achieving a certain level of fluency, whereas I do not speak a single of Korean. Though I love to learn about different cultures, Japan had always had a very special appeal to me, whereas I have never felt particularly drawn to Korean culture. Finally, the JET program came with certain prestige and name recognition that an after-school academy in Daejeon, ROK certainly does not have.
On the other hand, the decision was not random and there were important factors that led me here. First and foremost was the issue of North Korean defectors (though ironically over the past couple months, the pull to academia has only grown stronger and right now the history route seems much more likely route for the future). I wanted to get an idea of what Korean culture was like, what the shift from North to South Korea would look like.
The personal pull was, surprisingly and in many ways, even more important. I knew coming here that I had family close by, that I wasn’t shut off, separated by borders or oceans. After finally beginning to break out of a shell of seclusion, cutting myself off so completely seemed quite risky. Of course choosing instead a country where I don’t speak the language at all is a questionable alternative, but knowing there are people I am close to nearby was far more comforting. For so long I've been perfectly comfortable being secluded and far away, the fact that I wanted to be close to people so much made it a very appealing choice.
First Impressions
I got on the plane and knew I was leaving but it was only as I was walking through Incheon Airport, after a 13 hour flight, looking at the pictures of Korea all over the walls that I realized where I was. After getting in at 5 a.m, getting my bags, going through customs, I got to see T & C at the airport, for the first time in a year and a half or so. I will never forget sitting on my computer, in one of the rows of chairs outside the Coffee Bean, and them popping up behind me. It was such a pleasure, even if we were just sitting at a stupid airport.
After a couple hours, I had to get on the bus to Daejeon. Which I almost missed because it was just so... sudden. On the drive down, I couldn't help but notice how green it is here. Overcast and raining but bright and lively. It was Sunday morning, there was little traffic and it seemed that was all there was, the vibrant green flora covered in the gray mist.
When I got into Daejeon, my school director picked my up with his wife and walked me to the hotel I would be staying in before I could move into my apartment on Thursday. I have to say, not being able to understand a single word of what was being said was both fascinating and infuriating... though exhausting either way (the long trip probably didn't help). In the same vein, I am constantly amused by what people feel the need to explain, for example stopping at a gas station to get gas because the tank is almost empty. And then other times, 10 minutes of conversation that I would like to be aware of are left unexplained, like what is going on with my hotel room that I would like to get to so I can put my bags down and change. It makes me wonder how often I have done that to people with French and English and if you are someone who has suffered that, I am truly sorry.
Monday, my director picked me up at 11 to go to the school. I sat in on a few classes with other teachers while waiting for the classes I would be teaching and went to lunch (Shabu-Shabu, always wonderful) with two of the teachers. And then I got to meet my classes when they started at 3. Of course by 4-5, I was starting to fade and by the time my last classes came around I was struggling to stay awake. During that first week, I taught some of the classes and just watched others until Thursday when I the teacher I was replacing left.
In teaching, my greatest frustration has once again been the language barrier. When there is a problem, when it comes down to it, there is nothing that I can do and even if there is, someone who speaks the language will do it much better. This feeling of helplessness is quite nerve-racking and also applies when they speak to each other, I can't even understand what they're talking about, which is quite unsettling since they can say whatever they want... Of course the point is for them to just speak English but sometimes that is rather difficult to achieve.
I feel that, what bothers me more than difference between how the Koreans approach teaching and what I am accustomed to is the way the foreign teachers talk about the Korean approach. Granted, I haven't had much opportunity to witness stark differences between the two in two weeks and perhaps after several months, I will be doing the same thing. Still, I know that the approach is different, and I expect that at times I might even be shocked. I know that it is impossible for me not to prefer one way or the other but from there to calling their approach stupid or inefficient seems misplaced. It is not for me to say or judge when I am coming to their country to teach in their schools. As the outsider, it is first for me to accept and adapt, even if I disagree, what right do I have to tell them they're wrong?
It makes me wonder what I would do, if I thought of something that they could do more effectively. Would I just say, "it's not the way they do it" and so I should just adapt or is there a way to offer advice without being arrogant and degrading?
With these thoughts, I conclude my first post. Hopefully I will maintain some consistency and post often enough.
~ Elyssa ~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)